a life of misory and pain is all i know and have…i sound like a right nut case and to be honest…i think i am too..if this life is just a test…then iv faled…im ready to meet my maker but im not too sure that they are ready to meet me..im stuck at a point were iv been before but its diffrent in every way…confused?…me too..let me try put it this way…iv hit a wall in my life…but this time i cant break it down like iv done in the past…iv built so many walls to keep me in and people out and i need to smash them down first but cant…its my own fault i know that if i aint of built them in the first place then i wouldnt have this problem…would i..through time iv had to reinforce the walls when theyv/iv started to crack…which as/is makeing it harder for me..i just dont have any strength for anything anymore…i know that im weak and pathetic and that iv got to try think positive but im more lost in this thing called life then ever before..im in so much pain that all i can think about is cuttin and dieing…im litterd with scares both old and new…iv lost so much weight that you can see my bones and my mum and dad are on my case about me not eating…which is only makeing me worse..i pray that one day soon i fall a sleep and dont wake up and that they take my life and give it to some one else so they can have a chance to live..